More Than Motivation: What HerInfluence Reminded Me About Leadership, Courage, and Taking Up Space

Some events leave you with a notebook full of notes. Others leave you with a shift in perspective.

HerInfluence, hosted by NSN South Florida, was one of those events.

The evening featured an incredible panel of leaders from different industries and experiences, including Ashley Sharp of 4DMedical, Lakitsia Gaines of State Farm, and Rhapsodi Pierre-Jacques, Founder of HerKind. Each woman brought a unique perspective on leadership, confidence, career growth, entrepreneurship, and navigating spaces where women are often expected to shrink themselves instead of fully owning their expertise.

As someone who spends most days helping founders, executives, and organizations find clarity in their messaging and leadership, I expected to walk away with a few good insights. What I didn’t expect was how many of the conversations would challenge the way I think about confidence, preparation, visibility, success, and even how we value our own time.

Throughout the evening, one message kept showing up in different ways: You belong in the room. Not because someone gave you permission. Because you’ve earned the right to be there.

Win the Game First

One of the most powerful moments of the evening came from Lakitsia Gaines when she said, “You have to win the game to change the game. Nobody listens to the losers.”

At first, the statement feels blunt. But the more I sat with it, the more I understood the point. Many of us have incredible ideas. We see opportunities others miss. We know systems can be improved. We know cultures can evolve. But influence often follows credibility.

Before we can change the rules, we have to understand them. Before we can challenge the system, we have to demonstrate excellence within it. That isn’t about conformity. It’s about positioning. It’s about understanding that your expertise becomes harder to ignore when it’s backed by consistent results.

There Is Power in Preparation

Another quote that stayed with me all night was simple: “There’s power in preparation.”

In a world obsessed with confidence, we often overlook what creates confidence. Preparation. The leaders on stage weren’t talking about confidence as a personality trait. They were talking about confidence as the result of doing the work. Studying, practicing, showing up prepared, knowing your material, knowing your value, and knowing your perspective.

Confidence isn’t always something you’re born with. Often, it’s something you build.

Walk Into the Room Like You Own It

And then came the line that seemed to stop the entire room:

“Walk in the room like you own it and God sent you there.”

The room erupted, not because it was catchy, but because it spoke directly to something many professionals wrestle with every day. Too many talented people spend their careers shrinking themselves to fit into spaces they are more than qualified to occupy. They question their voice, second-guess their expertise, and wonder whether they belong. Yet the reality is simple: you were invited for a reason. You earned your seat. Whether you’re stepping into a boardroom, pitching an idea, leading a team, or building your own business, confidence starts by recognizing that your presence isn’t accidental. Act like you belong because you do.

Courage Isn’t the Absence of Fear

One of my favorite insights came from Rhapsodi Pierre-Jacques, Founder of HerKind, when she reminded us:

“Courage is doing it scared.”

That hit home because, if we’re honest, most meaningful growth happens before we feel ready. Launching a business, changing careers, speaking on stage, asking for a promotion, or starting a difficult conversation rarely arrives wrapped in certainty. More often, those opportunities show up disguised as discomfort. The people who make progress aren’t fearless; they’re simply willing to move forward before fear disappears. Courage isn’t about eliminating doubt. It’s about refusing to let doubt make the decision for you.

Fail More Than Your Competitors

Another statement that challenged the room was:

“Fail more than your competitors. It means you tried more.”

We spend so much time trying to avoid mistakes that we accidentally avoid growth. Failure isn’t evidence that you’re incapable. More often, it’s evidence that you’re participating, experimenting, and stretching beyond your comfort zone. Every successful leader, entrepreneur, and executive has a long list of ideas that didn’t work. The difference is that they kept moving. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is progress. The more willing you are to test, learn, adapt, and try again, the more opportunities you create to discover what works.

Build Your Own Table

One of the strongest themes of the evening centered around ownership. Rhapsodi shared:

“Build your own table, pull up your own chair, and invite people.”

For anyone waiting to be selected, invited, promoted, featured, or discovered, this was a powerful reminder that sometimes the opportunity you’re waiting for doesn’t exist yet. So create it. Host the event. Start the community. Launch the podcast. Create the content. Lead the conversation. The leaders we admire aren’t always the people who received opportunities. They’re often the people who created them. Influence isn’t reserved for those who receive invitations. It’s available to those willing to build something worth gathering around.

Your Perspective Is Your Secret Sauce

Ashley Sharp shared a reminder every leader needs to hear:

“Your perspective is your secret sauce.”

In rooms where we feel different, it can be tempting to blend in, soften our opinions, or avoid standing out. But often the very thing that makes us different is the thing that creates value. Different experiences create different perspectives. Different perspectives create innovation. Innovation creates impact. Your voice doesn’t need to sound like everyone else’s. That’s exactly why it matters.

Time Is a Currency

One lesson that continues to stick with me came from a conversation around priorities:

“We don’t typically think about time the way we think about money.”

What if we did? What if we budgeted our time as carefully as we budgeted our dollars? What if we became more intentional about where we invest our energy? What if every commitment required us to ask: Is this moving me closer to the future I’m trying to build?

That simple shift changes everything.

If It’s Not a Hell Yes, It’s a No

Another takeaway that many women in the room immediately connected with was:

“If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.”

Many of us are conditioned to say yes to opportunities, requests, responsibilities, and obligations without stopping to evaluate whether they align with our priorities. But leadership isn’t just about what you say yes to. It’s also about what you protect. Your energy, your peace, your focus, and your purpose all require boundaries. Every commitment comes with a cost, and sometimes the most strategic decision you can make is declining something that doesn’t support the future you’re trying to build.

Protect What Matters

The evening closed with a conversation around what each panelist is intentionally protecting in this season: peace, energy, prosperity, purpose, and assignment.

That final word stood out to me: assignment.

Because every person in the room is building something, creating something, leading something, or becoming something. The challenge isn’t simply achieving success. The challenge is protecting the things that allow us to sustain it. Growth without boundaries often leads to burnout. Success without intention can pull us away from the very things that matter most. Protecting what matters isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

Final Thoughts

HerInfluence wasn’t simply a networking event. It was a reminder.

A reminder that confidence can be built. That preparation matters. That courage doesn’t require certainty. That your perspective has value. That your time is precious. That your voice belongs in the room.

Most importantly, it reminded me of something I tell clients every day: Clarity creates confidence.

When you know who you are, what you stand for, and the value you bring, you stop waiting for permission. You start leading.

And maybe that’s the biggest lesson of all.

Walk into the room like you own it.

And like God sent you there.

Because He probably did.

Desiree Whitehead attended HerInfluence as part of her ongoing commitment to leadership development, community engagement, and helping founders, executives, and organizations communicate with greater clarity, confidence, and impact.

Ready to Clarify Your Voice?

Whether you’re preparing for a keynote, refining your executive presence, repositioning your company, or simply trying to articulate your value more clearly, clarity changes everything.

Book a discovery call with Desiree Whitehead and Howl Marketing to uncover the messaging, positioning, and strategic foundation that helps leaders show up with confidence, communicate with purpose, and scale with intention.

Your next level of influence starts with clarity.